Monday, April 27, 2009

Feeling like a Winter Wonderland! Brrr

Wow what an interesting non-stop weekend... I have blabbered about it enough already so I will try to only focus on the positive now!

I got to meet up with the fantabulous Tess at planettreasures and her amazing creations at Ironfest in Lithgow - I should have taken a pic of her stall but I didn't - meh you know what they say about hindsight!

Aren't we gorgeous!

The kids were very well behaved even though they were all shivery and cold - although my neice in the red hoodie looks like she is ready to hrmm kill for some more warm clothes!

My little Julia was too cold to get in the pic but helped daddy take the picture :)

While I wrote this blog the postman came and bought me a present...

A gorgeous pair of earrings delightfully wrapped from fellow DUSTer michvanetta they are my favourite colour, purple and so was all the wrappings. Thanks so much Mich, you have really made my day :)

Ooo and I was just informed that I was mentioned on someones blog - check it out FoxygKnits well I am excited! Thanks so much for featuring me Lois :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Dust - Christmas in July - Fiddlings...

I have been having a little go at some banners for the DUST etsy Aussie team special that they are holding between the 25-26th July....

Here are my first:

what do you think?

Too silly?
Too involved?
Not what you think Christmas in July is about?

Would be interested in some ideas for inspiration if you have any, themes/colours/inclusions....

Thanks for checking out my blog!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Its time for a real post, watch my healing process...

Someone asked me how I stopped my addictions of smoking and alcohol (and more) and because they were asking for my help, this is what I told them:

"I used to be a drinker and a smoker... everyday... smoking from the age of 13 and heavy drinking from the age of 15 (dad used to give me 'the end of his beer' when I was younger than 7!). But its been a long time - 8 years I believe - since I have drank to excess and that long since I have had a cigarette! Actually I gave up all of my bad habits at once, that really helped I found. Now I can actually have one or two drinks while I am out and not feel the need to get 'wasted' and I finally feel 'normal'! Why I am telling you this is that I want you to know that it is possible, that if you really truly want to you can rid yourself of the habits of drinking and smoking, I can tell you my secret to giving up if you want?

It was definitely not my first time giving up, I had tried many times before I had gotten so cross at myself it wasn't funny, I had denied myself things, called myself names and punished myself for 'being naughty' and having another drink or smoke. One day I noted what I was saying to myself and realized my horrid words to myself - this was the reason I drank! To shut my inner voice up! Oh to realize that I could 'parent myself' in a positive way and that I could say nice things to myself to motivate me and to keep me strong rather than being horrible to me and taking everything away. Once I also realized that I was using alcohol and cigarettes as a gift to myself was another epiphany, and I started to give myself other positive things in return. I would eat an apple instead, I would have a glass of water, I would paint my nails, clean my house, cook a yummy dinner ---- all just for me! It was a beautiful day when I realized that it was ok to say nice things and give nice things for myself and that I realized that I was giving up these negative habits to benefit me because I CHOSE to!

I gave myself the power I needed to fight against the real negative in my life. Finally I was working against the negative feelings inside myself instead of exacerbating the problems even more. Once I found that my willpower was in my choices then I chose to think about what exactly was in it for me. If I couldn't see a positive benefit then I just plain wouldn't do it!

Now I like to tell people that I gave up cold turkey because I kind of did - that was my resolve, a life change. But I did have hiccups along the way. I did 'misbehave' occasionally but I stopped punishing myself - I stopped the negative talk that said 'Oh well you have done it now, you have had three drinks, you have really fucked it up like you always do, you might as well do it good and proper' *followed by downing a bottle of vodka* - don't think I didn't think about doing this, my old way, I thought long and hard on it and then thought, how does it make me feel now, and how will I feel tomorrow - my answer was bad, so that was not the right option. I thought well, I could say 'Ooops, made a mistake, will stop myself now and try my best again, its ok to make a mistake, as long as you learn from it'. Then I would stop the drinking or smoking and remember my new plan and stick to that from then on, without looking back and without punishing myself. I then made sure that I gave me a pat on the back and said 'Well done you!' and that always felt good. That was my validation that I had made the correct choice for me.

So remember, it is your choice what you do in life, so take responsibility for your actions and live a positive life because you want to, because it lets you see a brighter and happier future.

I know I am a better mum now, a better partner, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend and all of that is great but you know what the greatest thing is? I am a better me, for me :)

Thanks for letting me tell my tale, this is something I wish that I got to tell my father, but I am sure he is up there right now looking down on us with a wry smile on his face.

Thank you for you honesty and thank you for taking the time to read mine,


PS - feel free to share my story with anyone else that you think it might help."

Thought that maybe if I wrote it here, it may benefit more than just one person and it is good to spread the good news too!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Its a Frelling Frogmouth!

Last night when hubby went to zip out to the local shops he came running back in and said to come outside... so off the net I went, *grumble grumble grumble* 'Its all muddy out here and I have no shoes on and...' I was interrupted by what I saw... there was a large bird up on the powerlines... wow... its big, its not a kookaburra, because it is too late at night, its not a tradition owl, because its body is not the right shape... I squinted 'Its a frelling tawny frogmouth! What are you doing out here?'. We live in quite a built up area and even though we see more wildlife than you would expect - thanks to the creek that runs down at the other side of the back fence, I had never seen anything so cool.

I ran to get my camera but this cheeky bird was not feeling photogenic and kept turning his back to the camera.... I skulked back inside admiting defeat and feeling like a meany for disturbing the fabulous wildlife... as I was walking back in, look what I found staring at me from my favourite Jacaranda tree:

He was a much better subject and posed nicely for the camera - don't you think?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

MY Vanilla Pixie!


Recently I offered to make a banner and avatar set for a fellow Aussie DUST team member on Etsy - it was the best fun! I based her lil pixie on a pixie that I made earlier! My Charlotte is chuffed to be 'famous' on the 'inter-wave' and she also loves wearing Carley's clips - the best thing is they don't slip out of fine girly hair and they are so respected here by their mini-owners that they are the only clips that are packed away after use and all my girls are super happy to have their hair done now that they get to be 'Vanilla Pixies' all day long! The designs are made funky, frilly, girly, spotty - prety much suitable for every occasion, dressed up with a pretty dress or dressed down with a tee and jeans. I have found they are good for school wear too as they don't fall out at sport time. Also Miss Charlotte (above and gorgeous) can put them in on her own making her feel even more the independant miss that she is!

Thank you Carley for making such beautiful clips and allowing me to create your cute lil banner set - may it set you apart from the sea of creators on etsy and be as memorable as the design of your clips.

Quick - run and make your girls Vanilla Pixies today and make hair-do time fun!

Clips on sale:
Big girls can wear these too:

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Well, I asked to appreciate my life more....

... and life never happens like you think! This may seem a strange comment from a tarot reader but I will explain!

Yesterday a friend of mine asked me to go out with her for a big night out - I haven't done that for a while and I thought 'Yeah, why not? Might make me appreciate my life..." and OMG it was one of the worst nights of my life sadly! You know what though - I DO ENJOY MY LIFE! and I love all the people who are in it, I love what we do, I also love me for every reason you can imagine.

Ok, maybe I should start at the start - which is always a good place to begin. Ken dropped me off at my friends house and we prettied ourselves with different outfits, make up and build out confidence and shortly we were minxing down the street - my friend exclaiming 'Oh I think they just slowed down to check us out!' at every car that drove past. On arriving at the main local shops something did not feel right in the air and instead of sticking around we decided to get on the nightrider bus that was sitting at the curbside with all lit up and welcoming. Not long after we got on the bus the driver was contacted on his radio and given warnings of riots in the area! Thirty seconds later all hell broke loose and around thirty men and women were brawling on the road - blood flying everywhere. I think my brain overloaded at what it saw and it went into snapshot mode - I remember seeing a man with at least six men on him being bashed severely - there was another man getting his head smashed into the road by another - there was a blonde haired woman screaming in a blood-curdling style. I fumbled for my mobile phone and struggled to get my lower jaw to start moving to talk to the police on the other end. Panic! I had trouble describing where I was and mentioned the suburb and the words convenience store blurted out. I gave my name and heard the sirens coming. Cars were speeding in to come and pick up some of the broken bodies on the road and others just ran - in all different directions. The police jumped out of their cars and I yelled at the nightride bus driver to please just go!

So we chugged along in this bus, the lights on us like we were lab rats in a cage, amazed at what we had just witnessed and I turned to my friend and said 'Oh it can only get better from here".... how wrong I was to assume this!

The nightride was long and slow and bumpy - so different to the nightrider! We finally did arrive at our destinations and I had been able to try and boost my mood and my friends slightly but it seemed like the bad mood crept in with every step my friend took.... by the time we got there and walked up the 10,000 steps to the entrance we were both exhausted. My eye little eyes lit up seeing all the flashing lights - I had never seen a big gaming room before and the sheer exhilerating noise invigorated the good mood in me again. My friend remained flat though and we thought that a drink or two might lift the energy - off the the bar we went.

We poked some dollars into the pokey machines and pressed a few buttons to get some noise for our payment - unfortunately my friend lost her dollars and I gained some.... and then the machines paused to calibrate because of the daylight saving time change. It was this stoppage that turned her mood from being a plain old bad mood into something different. She kept complaining that she couldn't hear me and that I wasn't answering her questions fast enough and that people were walking too close to her and they were in her way. A man coughed as he passed and she yelled out 'filthy Jap' and everyone turned to check what the commotion was about.

We went to have something to eat at the restaurant they have there - wedges and sourcream for me and the same for my friend but with spring rolls too. She complained about the price - apparently it was too high, even though it matched the menu price of what she ordered. She began telling me that there was a man who was watching her eat every mouthful and how disgusting it was because he was with his girlfriend and 'HOW would you like that if it was Ken and he was leering at every girl he could.... how damn rude' - this talk went on all dinner and she kept asking me to turn and look at him every time she put food in her mouth to see if he was looking... he didn't seem to be paying us any unusual attention... I asked her repetitively if she wanted to go home and telling her that he behaviour was out of character and she told me that she was fine and sober actually. I was really confused by the way she was acting, had never seen her that way.

Then we went and sat down at the pokies again and she was unhappy with the monitor of her machine flickering and she complained bitterly until I told her to move machines, which she did. As soon as she had fed the machine though she smelt a bad smell and she kept asking me very loudly if I thought it was the man sitting two machines down from her - he looked at as a few times but said nothing. When she made me stop what I was doing and really focus on if there was a smell I could smell something that was vaguely like burnt toast. I told her to take her money out of the machine and that we were going home!

But on the way past the 'Pink Panther' machines caught my eye and I told her I was stopping to feed some dollars in and I won $50! I was happy with that and we went and found a taxi to take us to the nearest train station where we could wait for the nightride bus. I kept thinking 'Oh this trip home has to be better than the one here. Once again my wishes did not come true!

We had to stand up nearly all the way back... it took about an hour and a half to get back too. My friend had a guy standing behind her and kept asking me 'what IS he doing?' to which I replied 'He is just holding on' over and over and over again until she stopped asking. She was telling me that he was rubbing himself on her - she actually said 'well he has his hard penis on my back!' - there was a gap between them of at least 30cms so ... once again I was perplexed. Finally we both got a seat and it became glaringly obvious that there was a young couple making fun of me - I couldn't quite get what they were saying but every time I nearly looked in their direction they laughed hysterically. They reminded me of my brother when we were growing up - I really don't like judgemental people. I did my best to look out the window and ignore them but I could still hear them saying things like '...and she has no idea that we are saying stuff about her...' - idiots!

Lucky when the nightride finally finished it was a short taxi trip home. I loved being home. I went into the mirror and looked at myself and my make up didn't look bad or anything, my hair was still in good order, as were my clothes, and I thought to myself 'I don't know what the people on the bus' problem was, there is nothing wrong with me, no actually all is right with me, I am a beautiful person, I look great, I have a wonderful partner, amazing children and we have a great house. I love me and my life'.

Shame I couldn't have come to that conclusion at home!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Well, aren't I a slacko!

I have been wanting to write, meaning to write and then ended up doing a lot of 'not writing at all'. I was walking along at the shops the other day thinking just this - must post on blog. It is then that it dawned on me, thinking about it doesn't help it get done! So I stopped thinking about it and low and behold here I am two days later actually posting. I have had a little think (yes again) about why I may not be posting and I guess it is because I wanted to write an extra good, witty blog at all times and sometimes I am just not in the mood, and when I am I have not been near the computer. Excuses aside, I have obviously worried about it so much that I have built it up into something much bigger than it is! This must be when thoughts turn to worries and worries weigh you down.

So I have been thinking 'take action' everytime I start worrying about things and it has been helping me get some things done! I am also realising that I am not as bad at procrastination or organisation as my family and friends would like to make me believe and that I am not going to take any of their negative comments on board anymore! I will feed my lil head with lots of supportive commentary and really try my best - rather than just deciding I will always be a certain way.

Change is a good thing, afterall life is just one big transition, right?